Sunday, April 16, 2006


Aww... Chris Ray made a friend!

Hey, I'm all for closers having intimidating music played upon their entry to the stadium. Chris Ray should be no exception, as he's owning the opposition early this season.

But Marilyn Manson?


"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)"... I get the point. He's putting the competition to bed. Gotcha. But Marilyn Manson's just a little too... oh, I don't know, CREEPY for a family-friendly atmosphere.

Besides, what if the O's surprise the crap out of everyone, and they make it to the playoffs. Then what?

"Hey, let's get Marilyn Manson in the flag court before the ninth inning to play 'Sweet Dreams' live. The kids will LOVE that?"

Yeah, that won't work.

I know Mariano Rivera and Billy Wagner use "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, but that just seems docile by comparison.

Does anyone have nightmares about Lars Ulrich killing them in their sleep?

Does anyone spread stories about James Hetfield getting ribs removed to suck his own Mr. Winky?

I'm just saying, Manson makes me a little uncomfortable. As a fan.

So, I submit to you, some other options for Chris Ray's entry music.

Closing Time by Semisonic An under-used classic. Todd Jones of the Detroit Tigers used to use it. For god's sakes, the very first words are "Closing Time". A closer. Closing time. Get it? Recommended by my amigo Chris of WBAL-TV.

DOA by Foo Fighters A fresh song that would fit well. The chorus includes the line "... no one's getting out of here alive." Those words are pretty macabre, but not as much as, say, MARILYN MANSON.

Hot in Here by Nelly The purpose of this is two-fold. First, it alludes to the heat Chris Ray brings to the mound. Second, it reminds fans that Anna Benson may be in the stands, and she likes to take her clothes off.

The Ultimate Sacrifice by Ben Folds A little piano heavy metal oughtta freak out the opposition. Think about it.

Over Now by Alice in Chains Again, pretty self-explanatory.

Any other suggestions? The faster we rid the ballpark of Marilyn Manson, the happier I'll be.

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